Why Has My Manifestation Not Arrived Yet?
It is not uncommon for someone to wonder why their manifestation hasn’t arrived yet and so let’s look at some of the reasons why this may be.
You and your desires are not aligned:
Your dominant beliefs and thoughts create your reality and your negative dominant beliefs are likely to be holding you back from having your desires. If your desire is to find love but your dominant belief is that you are unloveable, it is going to be difficult for you to manifest what you want because there is a misalignment between your dominant thoughts, your desires and the energy you are putting out there. A great way you can do this is to work on your self concept, which is basically your idea of yourself and who you are in the world. We have a Self-Concept & Manifestation Guide and Journal which is perfect for anyone on their manifestation journey. Check it out here.
2. Doubt and Fear:
Doubt and fear are unfortunately powerful hinderers of manifestation. If deep down you have doubts about your worthiness or the possibility of your desires coming to you, these negative emotions can act as barriers. It's essential to cultivate a mindset of unwavering belief in your ability to attain your desires and address any underlying fears that may be holding you back. Your fears are always linked to your limiting beliefs, so start there.
3. Impatience
Manifestation is a process that unfolds in its own time. Impatience can create resistance, slowing down or even preventing your manifestation. Practice patience and detachment by trusting the process and allowing things to unfold naturally. I know it can be extremely easy to constantly looking at how long you’ve been without your desire, but this create a desperate lack energy, which will ultimately create even more resistance. By understanding that your desire is already yours, you allow further abundance into your life.
4. Lack of Clarity:
Clearly defining your desire is crucial for successful manifestation. Vague or conflicting desires may lead to ambiguous outcomes. Take the time to reflect on what you truly want and be specific in your intentions. Clarity enhances the manifestation process by providing a clear blueprint! When you have clarity, you will then make decisions that will lead you one step closer to your desires. Time to be specific!
5. Limiting Beliefs:
Limiting beliefs are the roadblocks of manifestation. These normally stem from your childhood, past traumas, societal conditioning, or personal insecurities. Identify and address these blocks through practices such as self-reflection, therapy, or affirmations to create a more conducive environment for manifestation. Our free eBook ‘Identifying & Challenging your Limiting Beliefs’ is also here to help, which you can download here.
6. Resistance to Change:
Manifestation often requires a shift in mindset and lifestyle. If you find yourself resistant to change or unwilling to step out of your comfort zone, it can really slow down your manifestation process. Embrace change and be open to new opportunities that align with your desires.
Conclusion:
Manifestation is a dynamic and intricate process that goes beyond wishful thinking. Understanding the factors that may delay your manifestation can empower you to make necessary adjustments and create an environment conducive to success. Remember, patience, clarity, and a positive mindset are key components on your journey to your desires. By addressing these potential obstacles, you can unlock the secrets to successful manifestation and pave the way for the life you envision.
How to Manifest a Specific Person using the Law of Assumption
At its core, the Law of Assumption states that our beliefs shape our reality. Anything that you dominantly believe, whether good, bad or indifferent, will come to fruition in your life as a manifestation. If we assume something to be true, our thoughts, action and emotions will align with that assumption, ultimately influencing our experiences (the self-fulfilling prophecy).
So now that we have this information, how can we use this to manifest a specific person?
Be specific!
Before consciously manifesting anything, it is crucial that you clarify your intentions. Be specific about the person you want to manifest into your life, including their values, qualities, how they make you feel etc. The clearer you are, the more focused your manifestation efforts will be.
2. Have a positive mindset
Maintaining a positive mindset is important when consciously manifesting as it helps you to stay focused on the result that you desire. Even on days when your doubts and negative thoughts try to infiltrate your mind, by having a positive mindset you create a way for you to shift from negative to positive, rather than sitting there ruminating on things that you actually don’t want! Listening to affirmations or visualisation techniques are a great way to focus your mind back to positivity and back to your goals and desires. Remember, it is not about toxic positivity. It is about finding helpful ways to stop you from spiralling into negative thought after negative thought.
3. Act as if you already have your desire
Incorporating the ‘act as if’ principle into your life to a great way to align when your desires. All this means is behaving and carrying yourself as if you already have your manifestation, which in this case is your specific person. It doesn’t mean pretending to people you have a boyfriend when you don’t or making dinner for 2 when it’s only you that you’re actually making dinner for. It is about having the mindset of the person YOU want to be in your desired relationship. How do they behave? If you’re in your desired relationship, you wouldn’t act desperate, you wouldn’t feel unworthy of love, you wouldn’t feel a sense of lack in your love life. This alignment between your actions and assumptions will assist you greatly in your manifestation process.
4. Release attachment
While maintaining a focused intention is important, it's equally crucial to release attachment to the outcome. Trust in the process and detach from any desperation or anxiety. Maintain faith that your manifestation will come to you. I would highly recommend reading any of Neville Goddard’s book as he delves into having faith in the unseen. When you release attachment, you allow abundance to flow into your life because you are no longer seeking something from a place of lack. Think of it as a letter that you’ve posted that’s making its way to the receiver. You’ve posted it, it’s been sent, and you will receive a notification from the receiver when they receive it.
5. Practice Patience and Persistence:
Manifestation is a process that requires patience and persistence. Be consistent in your practices, stay positive, and trust that everything is working in your favour. When you know that something is going to happen, you don’t worry about it because you know it’s already yours. Build up that confidence in yourself to remind you that your manifestation is here already and that it will reveal itself to you in due course. Remember that everyone's journey is unique, and manifestations unfold in their own time. So in the meantime, enjoy the process of becoming a better you, working on your self-concept and changing your life for YOU.
To conclude, remember that manifesting a specific person using the Law of Assumption is a transformative process that involves aligning your beliefs, thoughts, and actions with your desired reality. By understanding the principles and practicing intentionality, positivity, and patience, you can increase the likelihood of bringing that special someone into your life. Embrace the power of assumption, and watch as your intentions manifest into the fulfilling relationship you desire!
A Guide to Identifying Limiting Beliefs Hindering Your Manifestations
The journey towards manifesting your desires is often met with obstacles that may not be visible on the surface, known as limiting beliefs. They are thought patterns that are ingrained in your mind that can unknowingly sabotage your efforts. As they are subconscious thoughts you may not even realising you’re thinking them; they are very much under the surface, running the show in your mind. Recognising and addressing these limiting beliefs is crucial for your manifestation journey so lets explore the steps to identify them and pave the way for the thoughts and feelings you desire for your manifestations to come to life:
Understand the Power of Beliefs
Beliefs are the driving force behind our thoughts, actions, and ultimately, our reality. They shape our perception of the world and influence the choices we make. Limiting beliefs are negative convictions about ourselves and the world around us that hinder personal growth and manifestation. Acknowledging the impact of these beliefs is the first step towards uncovering and transforming them.
Reflect on Patterns of Self-Sabotage
Limiting beliefs often manifest as self-sabotaging behaviours or recurring patterns of negative thinking. Reflect on situations where you've felt stuck, unable to progress, or experienced a sense of unworthiness. Patterns reveal everything about yourself and you can gain valuable insights into the underlying limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
Question Your Inner Voice
Pay attention to your inner voice – the ongoing conversation you have with yourself. Limiting beliefs often disguise themselves as automatic, unquestioned thoughts. You can challenge these thoughts by asking yourself questions such as, "Is this belief based on facts or assumptions?" and "Does this belief serve or hinder my goals?" Questioning your inner dialogue can unveil limiting beliefs that have been operating in the background.
Explore Childhood Influences
Our beliefs are often shaped during our childhood years, influenced by experiences, upbringing, and societal conditioning. Reflect on your childhood and upbringing to identify any messages or experiences that may have contributed to these limiting beliefs. By understanding the root cause, you can begin to unravel and release these beliefs.
Pay Attention to Emotional Triggers
Emotions can act as powerful indicators of underlying beliefs. Take note of situations or topics that evoke strong emotional reactions – both positive and negative. Much like patterns, emotional triggers can point to deeply held beliefs that are influencing your life. Use these triggers as a guide to uncover and address the root of your limiting beliefs.
Embrace Self-Awareness Practices
By being more self-aware through practices such as affirmations, meditation, or journalling can help you observe your thoughts without judgment and create space for self-reflection. Regular self-awareness exercises can bring hidden limiting beliefs to the surface, allowing you to consciously choose beliefs that align with your desires.
Identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection, curiosity, and a commitment to self. As you actively work towards transforming limiting beliefs, you give yourself the opportunity to live a life that you actually desire! Remember, the key lies in creating and actively working on a mindset that supports your deepest desires.
Your Glow-Up using the Law of Assumption
Embarking on a glow-up journey is more than just a makeover; it's a shift in mindset and a commitment to your personal growth that will spill over into all areas of your life. So how can you use the Law of Assumption within your glow-up journey…?
The Law of Assumption:
Our assumptions about ourselves and the world shape our experiences. Put simply, what we believe to be true becomes our reality. Who how can you use this information to assist you on your glow- up? By assuming the identity of the person you aspire to be, allowing yourself to set the stage for a positive shift in your thoughts, behaviours, and ultimately, your life.
Changing Your Self-Perception:
Instead of dwelling on your limiting beliefs that are no longer serving you and never have, focus on assuming the identity of your ideal self. Envision the confident, empowered, and successful person you aspire to become. As you consistently assume this new version of you, your thoughts align with this new story, influencing your actions and decisions in a way that pushes you effortlessly towards your goals.
Practical steps you can take in your Glow-Up Using the Law of Assumption:
Create Affirmations: Develop positive affirmations that reflect the beliefs and the qualities of the person you want to become. Repeat them as often as you can to reinforce your new story.
Visualisation: Use visualisation to vividly imagine yourself living the life you desire. Don’t be shy! Picture every details, every emotions, and all the experiences associated with your glowed-up self.
Positive Self-Talk: Monitor the way you speak to yourself and replace those limiting beliefs with your new affirmations. Speak to yourself as if you are already the glowed-up version of yourself.
Set Goals Aligned with Your New Story: Establish achievable goals that align with the characteristics of your ideal self. Break them down into steps to track your progress.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Engage with positive influences, whether through supportive relationships, inspirational content, or environments that resonate with your glow-up journey.
A glow-up journey using the Law of Assumption is a recipe for the transformation of a lifetime. By assuming the identity of your ideal self, you pave the way for better decision making and beautiful changes, allowing yourself to then become the new and improved version of you, shaping your reality in alignment with your aspirations. You have the power to lead a life that reflects the dedicated, mesmerising, powerful person that you were always destined to be.
If you want more advice, practical exercises and knowledgable insights, check out our Glow-Up Manifestation Journal ✨ and our Glow-Up affirmations on Youtube.
Unleashing the Power of the Mind: Psycho-Cybernetics and the Art of Manifestation
After having read Maxwell Maltz’s “Psycho-Cybernetics,” it left a profound impact on my life. Originally published in 1960, this groundbreaking work explores the connection between the mind, self-image, and personal success. While the book wasn't explicitly designed for manifestation, its principles can be used by those wanting to harness the power of their mind to manifest their desires. In this blog post, Let’s delve into the core concepts of Psycho-Cybernetics and explore how it can be a powerful tool on your manifestation journey.
Understanding Psycho-Cybernetics:
Psycho-Cybernetics is based on the idea that the human mind functions like a self-guided system, constantly adjusting its course to achieve a predetermined target. Maltz argues that our self-image serves as the target that our subconscious mind works tirelessly to hit. If our self-image is positive and aligned with our goals, our subconscious mind will guide us towards success. However, a negative self-image can lead to self-sabotage.
The Mirror Principle:
A central part of the book is the Mirror Principle, which says that the outer world reflects our inner world. In the context of manifestation, this principle highlights the importance of having a positive self-image in order to attract positive outcomes. By visualising and internalising the desired outcome, we can shape our reality through the power of belief and expectation.
Creative Imagination and Visualisation:
Psycho-Cybernetics emphasises the role of creative imagination and visualisation in shaping our destiny. By imagining our goals and consistently visualising the desired outcome, we communicate our intentions to the subconscious mind. This, in turn, activates the brain's reticular activating system (RAS), a filter that helps us notice opportunities and resources that align with our goals.
Affirmations and Positive Programming:
Affirmations are another key tool in the Psycho-Cybernetics toolkit. By repeating positive statements about oneself and one's goals, individuals can reprogram their subconscious mind and reshape their self-image. Maltz believed that these affirmations could counteract negative programming from past experiences, freeing individuals from self-limiting beliefs that hinder manifestation.
The Power of Self-Image:
Central to the book's philosophy is the idea that our self-image dictates our actions and decisions. If we see ourselves as capable, confident, and successful, our behavior will align with that self-image. But a negative self-image can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Understanding and reshaping one's self-image is crucial for effective manifestation.
In the journey of manifestation, Psycho-Cybernetics serves as a timeless guide, offering valuable insights into the workings of the human mind and its beautiful impact on personal success. By using the principles of self-image, creative imagination, and positive programming, we can tap into the vast potential of our minds to manifest our deepest desires. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who is on their self-concept journey, in particular those who have limiting beliefs surrounding self-image.
Unleash Your Potential: You deserve to be your best self!
On your journey to becoming your best self, manifestation is a powerful ‘tool’ that can be used to better yourself. I use the word ‘tool’ loosely because whether you realise it or not, you are always manifesting. Your dominant subconscious thoughts shape your reality, regardless of whether they are good or bad thoughts.
If you have a dominant subconscious thought that you are beautiful, more times than not you probably receive compliments about your beauty. If you have a dominant subconscious thought that relationships never work out for you, it’s likely that this has been your lived experience: people breaking up with you, not being able to maintain healthy relationships, always attracting the wrong people. You have the opportunity to change your reality, so let’s explore how conscious manifesting can be a transformative force in helping you become your best self…
Understanding Manifestation
At its core, manifestation is based on the principle that our dominant thoughts and beliefs shape our reality. By directing our thoughts towards specific desires and goals, we can influence the energy around us and attract the outcomes we desire. The key is in having faith, even when it looks like your manifesting isn’t working, focusing on your desire and counteracting your negatives thoughts with positive ones.
What is it that you want?
To begin your manifestation journey it is crucial that you are very clear about what it is that you actually want. Whether it’s a new job, more money, a specific person or to be your best self you must articulate what you truly desire. Write down what it is that you want as if you already have it, e.g. ‘I am the best version of myself’ and write a list of what this looks like, such as:
I go to the gym 3x a week
I make an effort with my appearance
I treat myself with kindness
Once you’ve written this down, you are clarifying your desires and clarification is important when it comes to focusing on what you want!
Affirmations
You can also use the above statements as affirmations to assist you in your manifesting. Bring these positive statements in your daily routine, not only to remind you of that which you desire but to impress your subconscious mind with these thoughts, especially when you have negative thoughts or feel demotivated. By consciously choosing positive statements, you re-shape your inner dialogue and cultivate a more positive outlook. And optimism is key for manifesting - you must believe in the positive outcome.
The Power of Visualisation
Neville Goddard spoke about the State Akin to Sleep as a great time to visualise your desires. This is when you are in a meditative state where you subconscious mind is open, such as before you fall asleep. Take time each day to vividly imagine your desire. Envision the details - how you feel, what you see, and the positive impact on your life. Visualisation enhances the connection between you and your desire, making it feel more attainable and real. As you consistently visualise your desire, your subconscious mind becomes aligned with your desires.
Manifesting to become your best self in an empowering process that involves aligning your thoughts, beliefs and actions. By setting clear intentions, visualising it coming to fruition, saying your affirmations and taking action where necessary, you can unlock your full potential and create the life you desire. Remember, manifestation isn’t about wishful thinking; it’s about consciously creating your reality, so embrace the journey, focus on yourself and watch as your best self unfolds before your very eyes.
Check out our latest affirmations video on Youtube - Attract & Receive your Desires
How to get out of a negative headspace aka how to stop spiralling
Absolutely no one is exempt from negative thinking, it is something that we will all continue to experience in life. But there is one difference when it comes to people that can get out of a negative headspace quicker than others and that is mindfulness. Being aware of your negative thoughts is actually a good thing because once you identify a problem it means you can do something about it.
Imagine if you didn’t even realise how negatively you were thinking how crazy your life could potentially end up! Being aware of your thoughts and feelings is a good thing because it gives you the opportunity to do something about it. So on those days where you feel like you’re constantly being a negative Nelly, guess what? Your brain is giving you the opportunity to change your headspace.
I’ve noticed that some of the main triggers that can cause negative thought spiralling include:
Changes in your environment/routine
Not taking care of yourself, I,e not putting yourself as a priority
Revisiting old wounds/stories/life events
Ok, so now we’ve identified what could be the cause of your spiralling, it’s time to focus on what YOU can do to get out of that negative headspace:
Do something that you enjoy
A lot of the time we feel a sense of unhappiness because we aren’t doing enough things that fulfil us. This can obviously vary from person to person, so I want you to think long and hard about the things in life that genuinely bring you joy. For me, if I’m feeling down I like to listen to my favourite music albums. Most of my favourite music has some kind of nostalgic feel to it; whether it reminds me of an amazing time in my life, or a specific event, it helps to create good feelings within me. For you this could be painting, exercising or cooking your favourite meal. Whatever it is, do more of it. It is guaranteed to make you feel better.
2. Journal, journal, journal
Sometimes we overthink things which then leads to spiralling because we are basing everything on how we are feeling at that moment. Emotions are fleeting, and so you could have a negative rush of thoughts that you could look at tomorrow and realise it actually wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. Journalling is a great way to get all your feelings out and actually help you process them from a place of focus. Sometimes all we need to do is just get our thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. I love journal because I am more attentive with my emotions and ask myself important questions that I probably wouldn’t be able to answer if I just stayed in my feelings spirally out of control. One of the best ways to get a hold of your emotions is to not let them get the best of you and by journalling you give yourself the opportunity to feel and release them under a more focused mind.
3. Treat yourself like number 1
Have you noticed that when you stop focusing on yourself and your needs you tend to spiral and have negative thoughts a lot more? That is because you are not focusing on self-prioritisation. Now I’m not saying you should start being a selfish cow and literally forget about any and everyone else, but YOU should be your main priority. Prioritising yourself not only leads you to better mental health, but it makes you more likely to get your manifestations because it allows you to have clarity and this is key if you want your manifestations to come to fruition. In your reality you’re number 1, you’re the best, you’re the priority…so start acting like it! Once you become the priority in your life you will start to attract all of the things you want. So get focused and prepare to receive!
So the next time you find yourself spiralling into a negative headspace, try one or even all of these tips and I guarantee you will feel a lot better, and it’ll help you get back on track with manifesting your desires!
So you want to attract love into your life?
You become your beliefs. You become your dominant thoughts…and some are so deep within your subconscious that you may not even be aware of them or the fact that they are running the show behind closed doors. I used to think that the reason why my previous relationships didn’t work out because I picked the wrong men, and whilst I can acknowledge that this is true, it wasn’t until I looked deeper into myself that I understood there was a belief behind me choosing to stay with someone that I knew wasn’t right for me - a belief of not being good enough. I would subconsciously attract men that would prove my belief right.
That’s what your brain does…it seeks out information to prove itself right because that’s how it continues to uphold your subscious dominant beliefs/assumptions.
If you have a subconscious belief that you are not attractive, your brain will seek to find information that proves you right, and because that is your dominant assumptions about yourself, even if something happened that suggested that you are actually attractive, you would dismiss it, think it was just a fluke or not even pay any attention to it at all because it doesn’t align with your underlying subconscious belief.
So how do you fix this you may ask?
Step 1: Get to the core of your limiting beliefs
Where did this belief come from? Where did it all begin? I guarantee you will realise that it didn’t even start with you, it never does. Using being unattractive as an example, it came from your mum or dad making comments about your looks, or that silly little kid that called you ugly in year 6, that guy that you liked that told you you’re not his type or the beauty standard being pushed on social media. It always comes from someone else, and this goes for any negative dominant thoughts/beliefs/assumptions that you have about yourself.
THOSE NEGATIVE DOMINANTS BELIEFS DON’T EVEN BELONG TO YOU.
Once you realise this, you’ll be half way through your manifesting journey because you’ve finally identified the root cause which is the hardest bit.
Step 2: Take your power back!
It’s now time to start becoming the person you know deep down that you are destined to be. I know you’ve even seen little glimpses of how amazing the new you is but you never take the plunge to try to become them. Well now is the time! You are that loveable person, that person that has amazing reciprocal relationships, that knows that they deserve to be treated beautifully, that doesn’t settle, that has their specific person (whether that be a new or old SP).
I want you to consistently listen to our self-concept and love affirmations playlists. These will help you change your current negative dominant beliefs about love into positive ones.
I want you to start doing mirror work, if you aren’t doing it already. Focus on giving yourself the love you want whilst you wait for your manifest to show up in your real life. Do something nice for yourself everyday, even if it’s something small like putting on lipgloss rather than lip balm, or only having 1 sugar in your tea instead of two. Even the smallest of things can make a difference when it comes to treating yourself better.
Step 3: The fun part…time to fine tune your desire!
Write down the new story of you in relation to your love life. What does your dream love life look like? How are you treated? How does it make you feel? I want you to envision it as much as you can. Neville Goddard, who I learnt a lot about manifestation and the law of assumption from suggest to imagine this before you fall asleep to help impress your subconscious mind. So before you go to bed you better get to thinking! :)
I also want you to do this about the new you. What do they look like? What do they wear? How do they interact with people? What are their hobbies and interests? What does their body look like? Think about the steps you would need to take to become that new you and start taking those steps in your daily life:
Go start that new hobby
Get your hair done
Journal
Take pride in what you look like
Take that class
Start that gym membership
The new and improved you is closer than you think so by identifying the steps you need to take you’ll bring yourself one step closer everyday.
The relationship that you desire will come to you once you start focusing on YOU and start making changes to become the new and improved YOU. Remember, there is no one to change but self. It all starts with you.
How are you going to use the last 4 months of 2023?
Not to scare you or anything but we are in the final quarter of the year 2023…crazy right? Time has gone by so fast, it’s actually scaring me a little bit! Has this year been the year you thought it was going to be? Have you done the things you said you were going to do? If yes, amazing! Well done to you. If no, it’s all good because we have 4 months left to redeem ourselves and bring us one step closer to our goals.
If there’s one thing that life has taught me is that no matter what is going on, life keeps going and it made me realise that I also need to do the same in any situation I encounter, whether good or bad. You may be at a low point in your life right now because you feel that things are not going your way or working out how you’d hoped, but I’m here to tell you, YOU have the power to make the changes YOU want to see in your life.
I remember when I reached what felt like rock bottom for me and I knew I never wanted to feel that feeling again. I knew I had to make the changes I needed to make for myself. I knew that no one was coming to save me. As scary as that may sound, it is also empowering to know that you can change your life. You, yes you! No matter what you are going through, no matter how low you feel, no matter how hard life may seem right now, if you just make the decision that you want better for yourself and take small steps in that direction, I promise things will start to change for the better.
When it comes to manifestation and the Law of Assumption, one of the main teachings is that you must have faith in the unseen. Even when, on the outside it may look like things are not working out for you, you must still trust and believe that it is. One of the best techniques to help you do this is to ‘live in the end.’ Envisage what you want, imagine it as if it is already happening, and repeat it in your mind. Your imagination is more powerful that you realise. Look back at things in your life that you imagined happening that happened…whether they are good things or bad things, that shows your power. The only difference now is that I want you to use your imagination to think, see and feel all of the good things you want to manifest into your life.
Before you go to bed today, I want you to envisage the person that you want to be, that deep down you know you can be! How do they behave? How do they walk, talk and act? Where do they go? What type of conversations do they have? How do they dress? How to people interact with them? Imagine the better version of you and start taking small steps to become that person.
If your better you is more social, I want you to say hello to a stranger once this week.
If your better you dresses a certain way I want you to dress like that once this week.
If your better you doesn’t let their emotions get the better of them, I want you to practice this if you’re put in a situation that could trigger you this week.
If your better you has healthier eating habits, I want you to eat healthy meals one day this week.
If your better you is loved and chosen, I want you to behave like this once this week.
This is the best way to start becoming a better you. This will help you build confidence in yourself. You will keep the promises you make to yourself and this will have a snowball effect where gradually you’ll do it more often and then it will become a part of who you are. This is how you become the new and improved you!
So 4 months left of 2023…you know what you need to do and I am with you all the way. Let’s go!
I include this in my Self Concept & Manifestation Guide and Journal, as the journal section allows you to write weekly answers to some great questions that will help you on your journey, click here!
P.S I have some affirmations to help you live in the end of having your manifestation & have faith in the unseen:
Say ‘I do’ to you
Anytime in my life that I have genuinely made an effort to do things that I enjoy, put myself first and have goals that I’m working towards, my life has shifted in such a beautiful way. Examples of this include me starting The Value of the Phoenix, becoming a lot closer to my friends and family, buying my first property and meeting new love interests.
You are the star of your very own show, you are the main character of your life therefore you should aim to have main character energy in your life! That doesn’t mean you become selfish, only think about yourself and forget about others. It means you ensure that you are a priority in your life. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
When we think of commitment a lot of the time we think of marriage, weddings, vows etc. ‘For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health, til death do us part.’ How about we start saying those vows to ourselves? How about we make a commitment to ourselves? How about we dedicate ourselves to ourselves!
You are with yourself forever. You are your very own ride or die. You’re the Bonnie to your very own Clyde. Surely, this should be enough of a reason for us to try for ourselves, to want better for ourselves, to level up ourselves as and where we can right?
I dedicate time to myself everyday and it has been such a blessing. It doesn’t have to be for a long period of time, but it just needs to be time strictly for YOU.
Here are a few examples of things I do to prioritise myself every week:
Morning/evening meditation - As soon as I wake up or just before I go to sleep, I lay in bed and think about how I want my day today, I think my affirmations, and say things I am grateful for.
Exercise - I work out 3-5 times per week, and only on weekdays so that I can enjoy a lie in on the weekends.
Music - I dedicate at least one evening per week to listen to my favourite songs and dance around my living room.
These 3 things are so simple, yet the peace of mind I experience during and afterwards is unmatched. I always feel proud of myself for doing these things and putting my happiness, mental, physical and spiritual health at the forefront of my life. I say ‘I do’ to myself. I put a metaphorical ring on my finger, I am in this until the wheels fall off.
I saw a video on TikTok asking people what the biggest regret in their lives were and the most common answer was that they allowed the fear of judgement to stop them from going for things they really wanted to do. And to me, I interpret this as ‘not doing enough things that bring me joy because I was scared of what others would think.’ I know this feeling, it is still something I deal with to this day, but I choose to do things anyway because it makes ME happy.
Fear is the root of all our limiting beliefs. It is what stops us from doing things we enjoy, trying new things or even being the real us. I delve into this in my Self Concept & Manifestation Guide and Journal. So I ask you…who are you? Or better yet, who is it that you know you can be?
Start taking small steps to become that person. I have dedicated myself to myself because every so often I get a glimpse of the future me, and I really want to be her. But I have to start doing things she would do now, in order to become her in the future. She already exists…I’ve just got to bring her to the forefront.
Are you bringing the future you to the forefront? Are you enjoying your life for what it is now? Are you saying those vows to yourself? I hope so, because this is where you will see the most changes in your life. We are all on this beautiful journey called life together, so let’s learn and grow together, shall we?
Patrice x
You’re talking the talk but are you walking the walk?
Talking the talk but are you walking the walk?
Affirmations are a great way to improve your mental health, learn to regulate your emotions and help you feel better about yourself. One thing that I have noticed however, with not only clients but myself as well (we are all guilty of this as we are not perfect), is that we can talk the talk but may not be walking that walk!
It is very easy to say affirmations, almost a bit too easy. ‘I am loved, I am beautiful…blah blah blah.’ This is why vain affirming is so prevalent, where you’re just saying the affirmations carelessly. You’re simply just saying words.
But Patrice, isn’t affirming just that? Saying words? Yes, of course to a certain extent but the whole point of affirming is to help you step into the state of the new you. Whether that be the new version of you that’s in a loving relationship, or is driving that new car, working that new job, starting a business, being financially abundant; it is all about making you feel as though you already have those things (in your mind - the 4d), so that in your real life (the 3d) you are taking steps to become that new version of yourself.
However, in your 3d you have to ensure that the decisions you are making and the thoughts that you are thinking are in line with the new you. The quickest way to know if you’ve changed is based on your actions: how you react to situations, the decisions that you make, the things you do to keep yourself in check. Your actions must match up with your affirmations. That is where you will see your results, that is where you will see the changes within yourself.
I knew I had changed (and am still changing) when I started paying attention to how I would react to things and I was truly amazed. ‘Wow, the old me would’ve spiralled. The old me would’ve given up. The old me would’ve been so defeated.’
We are all human and I’m here to announce that your triggers don’t just disappear once you’re ‘healed.’ You learn how to deal with them to the point that they do not have the same effect that they used to. For example, I used to smoke cigarettes, especially during times of stress and upset or if I was on a night out and had had a few drinks. Now when I’m stressed and have the craving for a cigarette, I recognise how I’m feeling and why and look for new ways to de-stress. Or if I’m on a night out now and a cigarette is offered to me, I remind myself that the new and improved Patrice doesn’t do that anymore and I have the mental strength to not let an old craving (trigger) get to me.
A great way to stay on track with becoming the new you and learning to talk the talk and walk the walk is to simply ask yourself ‘what would the new and improved version of me do in this situation?’
Remember, your journey is about becoming a better you, not punishing yourself for past mistakes. Even if you mess up now, as Aaliyah said, you dust yourself off and try again. The past is the past and it only exists in your memory. So use it as fuel, use it as a reminder of where you were and how far you’ve come and use your day to day life now to make decisions that your future self, the new and improved one, will be proud of.
Patrice x
Holiday blues and a need for freedom
Holiday blues and the need for freedom…
I recently got back from a holiday in beautiful island of Jamaica and even though I’ve been to Jamaica so many times, (my mum is Jamaican), when I got back this time, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness. Was it because it was a huge holiday that included a family reunion with so many of my family members from the UK, USA, Canada and Jamaica? Was it because we came back to rubbish rainy UK weather? Was it because I was due on my period? I think it was a combination of all of those things but I think the main issue was freedom, or lack thereof.
Whilst I did have a schedule on most days of my holiday, as we did visit family and also done some tourist excursions etc, there was a major sense of freedom. I was free from the hustle and bustle of London, free from my 9-5, free from having to think about anything other than enjoying my time in one of my favourite places in the world.
So when I got back it really hit me…hard! I was in a slump for over a week and knew that if I didn’t change my thoughts and start doing things to make myself happy, it could’ve led me down a very dark path. It made me realise that I am not living the true life that I want to live, which is interesting because me from 3 years ago dreamed of having some of the things I have now…my own home, a fully remote job, a better car. But in the grand scheme of things, those personal possessions don’t actually mean that much to me. I am saying that from a place of privilege because those things can be seen as ‘life goals’ to other people, and they were (and still are) to me too. But I am at a place in my life where I just want to be comfortable, have peace of mind, a solid healthy relationship with myself and the freedom to live the life that I want.
As I change and grow as a person, the things I want out of my life also change and that’s ok. You’re allowed to change your mind about anything. You’re allowed to change as a person. I have changed a lot this year, mostly mentally and a little bit physically too, and I have so much clarity about what I want my life to look like by the end of the year, in 2 years and even in 5 years and since I got back from my holiday I am actively taking the steps needed to get me to where I want to be, and where I want to be is free.
Freedom can look different for different people, and so I do not worry about what other people are doing in their lives, unless I am using it as inspiration to push me to my goals. To me, freedom is something that is so simple as a concept but in this day and age, especially with the cost of living crisis it feels so out of reach for most people. I am not going to let that stop me though. If I saw every barrier as a barrier I wouldn’t have achieved half the things I’ve achieved in life.
And that is why I am so grateful that I learned about the law of assumption, mental diet, your thoughts creating your reality, how limiting beliefs hold you back from having what you want and that YOU can create the changes that you want in your life. This reminds me to take back my power, to focus on the outcome I want and to believe in myself, especially on days when I feel like my life is ‘falling apart.’
I am human, I make mistakes but I am so glad I’ve learned the art of self-forgiveness (trust me, it’s an art!) and that I am actively working to better my life. I make affirmation videos to help myself and others remind ourselves of our power and I hope that you will join me on this journey of freedom and living a life that genuinely makes me happy and gives me the freedom I need to be me.
Patrice x