You’re talking the talk but are you walking the walk?
Affirmations are a great way to improve your mental health, learn to regulate your emotions and help you feel better about yourself. One thing that I have noticed however, with not only clients but myself as well (we are all guilty of this as we are not perfect), is that we can talk the talk but may not be walking that walk!
It is very easy to say affirmations, almost a bit too easy. ‘I am loved, I am beautiful…blah blah blah.’ This is why vain affirming is so prevalent, where you’re just saying the affirmations carelessly. You’re simply just saying words.
But Patrice, isn’t affirming just that? Saying words? Yes, of course to a certain extent but the whole point of affirming is to help you step into the state of the new you. Whether that be the new version of you that’s in a loving relationship, or is driving that new car, working that new job, starting a business, being financially abundant; it is all about making you feel as though you already have those things (in your mind - the 4d), so that in your real life (the 3d) you are taking steps to become that new version of yourself.
However, in your 3d you have to ensure that the decisions you are making and the thoughts that you are thinking are in line with the new you. The quickest way to know if you’ve changed is based on your actions: how you react to situations, the decisions that you make, the things you do to keep yourself in check. Your actions must match up with your affirmations. That is where you will see your results, that is where you will see the changes within yourself.
I knew I had changed (and am still changing) when I started paying attention to how I would react to things and I was truly amazed. ‘Wow, the old me would’ve spiralled. The old me would’ve given up. The old me would’ve been so defeated.’
We are all human and I’m here to announce that your triggers don’t just disappear once you’re ‘healed.’ You learn how to deal with them to the point that they do not have the same effect that they used to. For example, I used to smoke cigarettes, especially during times of stress and upset or if I was on a night out and had had a few drinks. Now when I’m stressed and have the craving for a cigarette, I recognise how I’m feeling and why and look for new ways to de-stress. Or if I’m on a night out now and a cigarette is offered to me, I remind myself that the new and improved Patrice doesn’t do that anymore and I have the mental strength to not let an old craving (trigger) get to me.
A great way to stay on track with becoming the new you and learning to talk the talk and walk the walk is to simply ask yourself ‘what would the new and improved version of me do in this situation?’
Remember, your journey is about becoming a better you, not punishing yourself for past mistakes. Even if you mess up now, as Aaliyah said, you dust yourself off and try again. The past is the past and it only exists in your memory. So use it as fuel, use it as a reminder of where you were and how far you’ve come and use your day to day life now to make decisions that your future self, the new and improved one, will be proud of.
Patrice x
